A guide to Glasgow ahead of ISPOR 2025

A guide to Glasgow ahead of ISPOR 2025

1. A wee bit of history

As I look forward to attending ISPOR in my hometown, here is the first in an 8-part series to help you make the most of your visit to our friendly city.

Glasgow doesn’t stand still. For 1,500 years it’s grown from a riverside settlement into one of the great industrial cities. Today it thrives as a centre for culture, education, sport and science.

The name Glasgow comes from the Brittonic ‘Glaschu’, translated as ‘dear green place’. Despite its industrial reputation, the city has more than 90 parks and gardens that live up to the name.

From Saint to City
It begins in the 6th century when St Mungo (our patron saint) founded a church by the Molendinar Burn. Supported by King Hael of Strathclyde, this modest site became the seed of the city.

Mungo’s miracles: ‘the bird, the tree, the bell and the fish’ appear on our coat of arms. His resting place beneath Glasgow Cathedral made it a site of pilgrimage and the focal point for the town that grew around it.

By the 12th century, the Cathedral had been consecrated, the town granted trading rights, and its story as a religious and commercial hub began.

Glasgow Through the Ages
– 6th century: St Mungo builds his church
– 7th to 9th centuries: Part of the Kingdom of Strathclyde; survives Viking raids
– 10th century: Strathclyde absorbed into Scotland
– 12th century: Cathedral consecrated; town gains trading rights
– 15th century: University of Glasgow founded (1451)
– 18th century: The “Tobacco Lords” make fortunes trading with the Americas
– 19th century: Industrial Revolution brings shipyards, engineering and textiles. Glasgow called the Second City of the Empire after London
– 20th century: Industry declines; culture rises. Garden Festival (1988) and European City of Culture (1990) mark a rebirth
– 21st century: On the global stage again with the Commonwealth Games (2014), COP26 (2021), and now ISPOR 2025

What Glasgow is Famous For?
Inventions and discoveries: Television (John Logie Baird), the steam engine (James Watt), ultrasound, Lord Kelvin’s thermodynamics
Historic firsts: World’s first international football match (1872), Britain’s first police force (1800), UNESCO’s first City of Music (2008)
Culture and heritage: King Tut’s Wah Wah Hut (where Oasis were discovered), Charles Rennie Mackintosh’s architecture, and a music scene that never stops
Shipbuilding: At its peak, one fifth of the world’s ships were built on the Clyde

The Dear Green Place Today
Glasgow is a city of reinvention, resilience and green space. From saints to shipyards, steam engines to Simple Minds, it has always been relevant, creative and cheeky.

When you arrive in November, remember you are not just visiting a conference city. You are stepping into 1,500 years of history. Best enjoyed with a wander, a chat with locals, and a wee dram!

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2. Where to eat and drink

Glasgow’s culinary scene is built on bold influences and local pride. Italians brought trattorias, pizzerias and gelato; Indian and Pakistani communities turned parts of the city into curry strongholds. Now Glasgow is pushing forward with young chefs fusing global flavours with Scottish produce, vibrant cocktail culture and fusion cuisine.

Whether you want Michelin polish, sushi, or just a burger and whisky – Glasgow will deliver.

Fine dining

Cail Bruich https://www.cailbruich.co.uk/

Unalome by Graeme Cheevers https://www.unalomebygc.com/

Local institutions

Mother India https://www.motherindia.co.uk/mother-india/

The Ubiquitous Chip https://ubiquitouschip.co.uk/

Sarti https://www.sarti.co.uk/

Scottish & Highland restaurants

Ardnamurchan https://ardnamurchan.biz/

Ox and Finch https://oxandfinch.com/

The Gannet https://www.thegannetgla.com/

Gamba https://www.gamba.co.uk/

Casual favourites

Paesano Pizza https://www.paesanopizza.co.uk/

Tantrum Doughnuts https://tantrumdoughnuts.com/

Lebowskis https://www.lebowskis.co.uk/

Fusion & international picks

Ka Pao https://ka-pao.com/

Pickled Ginger https://pickledgingerfinnieston.co.uk/

Pubs & bars

The Pot Still https://thepotstill.co.uk/

The Horseshoe Bar https://www.horseshoebar.co.uk/

Kelvingrove Café https://www.kelvingrovecafe.com/

Curry & pakora options

Mother India’s Café https://www.motherindia.co.uk/restaurant/mother-indias-cafe/

Shish Mahal https://www.shishmahal.co.uk/

Ranjit’s Kitchen https://www.ranjitskitchen.com/

The Dhabba https://www.thedhabba.com/

Murphy’s Pakora Bar https://murphyspakorabar.co.uk/

The dear green place after dark

Glasgow is a city that loves its food. From pasta to pakora, sushi to seafood, it borrows from everywhere and makes it its own. Whatever your appetite, you’ll find something memorable – and you probably won’t leave hungry.

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3. Attractions & Culture

Glasgow isn’t a city you just visit; it’s one you feel. Behind the humour and the grit is a city bursting with art, music, and architecture. It’s Scotland’s creative heart and one of the few cities in the world where many of the top museums and galleries are completely free.

If you’ve got a few spare hours between ISPOR sessions, here’s how to soak up the best of the Dear Green Place.

Architecture & Heritage

Glasgow Cathedral

Dating back to the 12th century, this gothic masterpiece is one of the few medieval churches to survive the Reformation. Afterwards why now wander over to the Glasgow Necropolis for panoramic views and a moment of peace (location of a final scene in The Batman 2022).

https://www.historicenvironment.scot/visit-a-place/places/glasgow-cathedral/

The Tenement House
A time capsule of early 20th century Glasgow life preserved exactly as it was left by Miss Agnes Toward, who lived here for over 50 years. Gas lighting, box beds, and ration books tell the story of ordinary Glaswegians in extraordinary detail.

https://www.nts.org.uk/visit/places/the-tenement-house

University of Glasgow & The Cloisters
Founded in 1451, the University’s cloisters and quadrangles look straight out of Hogwarts. The Hunterian Museum within holds treasures from anatomy to archaeology.
https://www.gla.ac.uk/explore/visit/
https://www.gla.ac.uk/hunterian/

Charles Rennie Mackintosh’s Glasgow
You can’t understand Glasgow without seeing Mackintosh’s influence, the city’s own design genius. Visit House for an Art Lover, and The Willow Tea Rooms for a taste of his iconic style.

https://www.crmsociety.com/mackintosh-venues/
https://www.houseforanartlover.co.uk/
https://www.mackintoshatthewillow.com/

Museums & Galleries

Kelvingrove Art Gallery & Museum
The jewel in Glasgow’s crown. Expect everything from Salvador Dali’s Christ of St John of the Cross to taxidermy, Spitfires, and Scottish portraiture, all under one glorious red sandstone roof.
https://www.glasgowlife.org.uk/museums/venues/kelvingrove-art-gallery-and-museum

The Riverside Museum
A spectacular Zaha Hadid design that celebrates Glasgow’s industrial and shipbuilding heritage. Don’t miss the cobbled street with old trams and the Tall Ship moored outside on the Clyde.
https://www.glasgowlife.org.uk/museums/venues/riverside-museum

The Burrell Collection
Set in leafy Pollok Park, it houses over 9,000 works collected by shipping magnate Sir William Burrell, from Chinese ceramics to Rodin sculptures, all displayed in a tranquil, modern gallery surrounded by greenery.
https://burrellcollection.com/

Gallery of Modern Art (GoMA)
Right in the heart of the city, showcasing international contemporary art. Outside, you’ll find the Duke of Wellington statue wearing a traffic cone, an accidental but enduring symbol of Glaswegian humour.
https://www.glasgowlife.org.uk/museums/venues/gallery-of-modern-art-goma

The People’s Palace & Winter Gardens
Located on Glasgow Green, this museum tells the story of Glasgow’s social history, its people, housing, and humour, with a glasshouse café overlooking the park.
https://www.glasgowlife.org.uk/museums/venues/peoples-palace

Music & Live Culture

Glasgow is a UNESCO City of Music, one of only a few worldwide, and live performance runs through its veins.

King Tut’s Wah Wah Hut – where Oasis were discovered
https://kingtuts.co.uk/

The Barrowland Ballroom – the best live gig atmosphere in Britain
https://barrowland-ballroom.co.uk/

Òran Mór – a converted church in the West End offering live music, theatre, and a great pint
https://oran-mor.co.uk/

The OVO Hydro – hosting international acts and major performances right on the Clyde
https://www.ovohydro.com/

The Royal Concert Hall – home to the Royal Scottish National Orchestra and a great venue for classical concerts
https://www.glasgowconcerthalls.com/glasgow-royal-concert-hall/

Street Life & Hidden Gems

City Centre Mural Trail – more than 30 large scale murals transforming blank walls into outdoor art
https://www.citycentremuraltrail.co.uk/

Merchant City – stylish district of restaurants, galleries, and boutiques
https://www.merchantsquareglasgow.com/

Finnieston – former docklands reborn as Glasgow’s coolest food and drink quarter
https://www.glasgowworld.com/best-in/7-reasons-why-finnieston-is-one-of-the-coolest-neighbourhoods-in-the-uk-5342927

Ashton Lane – cobbled West End backstreet lined with fairy lights, bars, and charm
https://www.whatsonglasgow.co.uk/listings/ashton-lane/

Glasgow Botanic Gardens – green escape with Victorian glasshouses and tropical plants
https://www.glasgowbotanicgardens.com/

The Dear Green Place in Full Colour

Glasgow wears its culture proudly, on its buildings, in its murals, and through its music. Whether you’re standing under the organ pipes at Kelvingrove, exploring a preserved tenement, or catching a live band at the Barrowlands, you’ll feel that unmistakable mix of creativity, humour, and soul that makes Glasgow what it is.

Fun Fact: Glasgow on the Big Screen

Glasgow’s grid system, dramatic Victorian architecture and moody skyline have made it a Hollywood favourite, often doubling for New York, Philadelphia and even Gotham City. Brad Pitt raced through George Square in World War Z, Batman brooded through its streets in The Batman (2022), and filming has already taken place for The Batman: Part II. The city has also featured in Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny, Fast & Furious 9, Cloud Atlas, T2 Trainspotting and Under the Skin. Keep your eyes peeled during your visit, you might just wander onto a film set.

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4. The people of Glasgow

If there is one thing that truly defines Glasgow, it is not the architecture, the shipyards or even the music. It is the people.

The warmth, humour and straight-talking honesty of Glaswegians are what turn this city from a place you visit into one you remember. Ask anyone who has spent time here and they will tell you: the people are the real attraction.

The Patter – Glasgow’s Greatest Export

In Glasgow, conversation is not just small talk, it is an art form. Locals are famous for their quick wit, storytelling and ability to turn any situation into a bit of chat. They can make you laugh, disarm you and charm you all within a single sentence.

“The patter” is that distinctive mix of banter, rhythm and humour that flows through everyday chat, whether you are in a taxi, a pub queue or the hotel lift. It is funny, self-aware and often delivered with perfect timing.

You will hear it everywhere, so be ready for a bit of cheek and do not take yourself too seriously. In Glasgow, everyone is fair game, including you.

Warmth Without Pretence

Glaswegians are famously friendly, but it is not a customer service kind of friendly. It is real, unfiltered and sometimes hilariously direct.

They will talk to anyone, and I mean anyone. Ask for directions and you might get them, along with restaurant tips, a rant about the weather, and possibly their life story.

This openness comes from the city’s working-class roots and a strong sense of community. Glasgow may have reinvented itself many times over, but the people have kept that instinct to look out for each other, and for you if you look lost.

The Humour – Quick, Dry and Razor Sharp

Glaswegian humour is legendary. It is clever, self-aware and often delightfully inappropriate. Billy Connolly did not invent it, but he did make it world famous.

Expect sarcasm, understatement and the kind of deadpan delivery that can leave you guessing if they are joking. They almost always are. Comedians like Kevin Bridges, Frankie Boyle and Janey Godley carry that same torch today with a fearless honesty that only Glaswegians can pull off.

The Language – Musical, Honest and Occasionally Baffling

The Glasgow accent is as distinctive as the people. It is fast, musical and packed with local slang. You might not catch every word, but you will definitely catch the warmth behind it.

Here are a few phrases that might come in handy:

Phrase	Meaning
“Aye”	Yes
“Naw”	No
“How no?”	Why not?
“Aye right.”	Absolutely not
“Pure dead brilliant.”	Really, really good
“Gonnae no dae that.”	Please stop doing that
“Aye, nae bother.”	No problem
“Gie it laldy.”	Give it everything you’ve got
“Haud yer wheesht.”	Be quiet
“Away an bile yer heid.”	You’re talking nonsense
“That’s me away for the messages.”	I’m going shopping
“Yer a wee belter.”	You’re great / good fun

It is all part of the charm. Even if you do not understand every word, the tone usually gives it away.

Famous Glaswegians

For a city of under a million people, Glasgow produces an extraordinary number of icons.

In comedy, Billy Connolly, Kevin Bridges, Frankie Boyle, Janey Godley and Limmy have all shaped the Scottish sense of humour.
In music, think Lulu, Lewis Capaldi, Texas, Simple Minds, Franz Ferdinand, Chvrches and Deacon Blue.
In film and theatre, there is Peter Capaldi, Robert Carlyle, James McAvoy, Kelly Macdonald and Gerard Butler.
On television and beyond, familiar faces like Lorraine Kelly, Neil Oliver and Jack and Victor from Still Game keep the Glasgow spirit alive.

And in design and architecture, of course, Charles Rennie Mackintosh continues to define how the world sees the city.

Why It Matters

For all its history and grand architecture, it is the people who make Glasgow unforgettable. They are the ones who will help you when you are lost, make you laugh when you are not expecting it, and remind you that kindness and humour are still free.

So, when you are here for ISPOR, take a moment to talk to someone — the taxi driver, the barista, the volunteer at the museum. You will learn more about Glasgow from five minutes of chat than from any guidebook.

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5. Glaswegian Language 101 – A survival guide for visitors

If you have ever listened to a Glaswegian conversation and wondered whether it was English at all, you are not alone.

For all the warmth and charm in a Glasgow welcome, the language can be a puzzle for first time visitors. But fear not, we have you covered.

Here is your quick guide to the local lingo, so you can nod, smile and maybe even throw in a phrase or two while you are here for ISPOR.

The Accent

The Glasgow accent is fast, musical and expressive. It rises and falls like conversation should, and even when you do not understand every word, you will feel the humour or warmth behind it.

Tip for visitors: do not panic. Most Glaswegians will slow down (a bit) when they realise you are not from here, and they will happily translate if you ask nicely.

The Basics – Words and Phrases You Will Actually Hear

Phrase	Meaning
Aye	Yes
Naw	No
How no?	Why not?
Aye right	Absolutely not
Pure dead brilliant	Really, really good
Wee	Small, little, affectionate (used constantly)
Gonnae no dae that	Please stop doing that
Aye, nae bother	No problem
Gie it laldy	Give it everything you have got
Haud yer wheesht	Be quiet
Away an bile yer heid	You are talking nonsense
That’s me away for the messages	I am going shopping
Yer a wee belter	You are great or good fun
It’s Baltic	It’s freezing cold
It’s pishing doon	It’s pouring with rain
Ah’m burst	I am exhausted
Mad wae it	A bit too drunk or extremely enthusiastic
Gallus	Bold, cheeky, confident
Moany	Grumpy or complaining
Dreich	Miserable weather (cold, grey, wet – basically Glasgow in February)
Blether	A good chat
Clatty	Messy or dirty
Minging	Disgusting or unpleasant
Peely wally	Looking a bit pale or unwell
Messages	Groceries
Bampot	Idiot (used affectionately, usually)

Everyday Scenarios

At the bar:
“You aw right pal? Whit’ll ye hae?”
Translation: “How are you, friend? What are you having to drink?”

In a shop:
“That’s ye sorted hen.”
Translation: “All done, love.”

After a good night:
“That was some laugh.”
Translation: “That was really good fun.”

When it’s raining (again):
“Typical. It’s pure Baltic an aw.”
Translation: “Typical. It’s absolutely freezing too.”

When something goes wrong:
“Ach well, could be worse.”
Translation: “It’s fine. No point in complaining.”

What You Will Notice

1. “Wee” is everywhere.
   From a wee pint to a wee sit down, it is the most used word in the city. It means “small” but also “friendly” or “harmless.”
2. Endearment is casual.
   Expect to be called pal, hen, big man or doll — none of it is rude.
3. Self deprecation is an art form.
   Glaswegians will happily make fun of themselves before anyone else gets the chance.
4. Swearing can be affectionate.
   Used creatively, rhythmically and with far more nuance than you might expect. Context is everything.
5. Sarcasm is the city’s first language.
   If someone says “Aye, that’ll be right,” they are definitely not agreeing with you.

The Spirit Behind the Words

Like the people, Glaswegian language is full of humour, honesty and warmth. It is expressive, clever and often poetic. A few words can carry a whole story, and half the fun is figuring it out as you go.

Do not worry about getting it perfect — Glaswegians love when visitors give it a go. Drop in a “cheers pal” or a “nae bother” and you will fit right in.

Fun Fact

The city’s official slogan, People Make Glasgow, was chosen in 2013 from thousands of public suggestions. It perfectly sums up what the city and its language are all about — real people, real warmth and a shared sense of humour that you can hear in every conversation.

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6. Football in Glasgow – Celtic, Ranger and everything in between 

To understand Glasgow, you have to understand football. It is more than a game here. It is part of the city’s identity, its history, and its weekly heartbeat.

Even if you have no interest in football, you will not escape it while you are here. From the pubs to the taxis to the small talk in a coffee queue, the conversation will always find its way back to one topic: Celtic or Rangers.

A City Divided but Also United

Glasgow is home to two of the most famous football clubs in the world: Celtic FC and Rangers FC. Together they are known as the Old Firm, and their rivalry is one of the oldest and fiercest in sport.

Founded just a few years apart, Celtic in 1888 and Rangers in 1872, both clubs have enormous fan bases, global reach, and trophy cabinets!

The rivalry is historic, passionate and, at times, complicated. It has deep cultural and religious roots, but for most Glaswegians it is simply part of the city’s fabric. You are born into a team, and it sticks for life.

When the two sides meet, the city’s energy changes. Even non-football fans can feel it – the buzz, the banter, and that peculiar mix of pride and tension that hums through every street.

The Stadiums

Celtic Park (known locally as Parkhead or Paradise)
Home of Celtic FC, in the city’s East End. On match days, 60,000 fans pack in to create one of the best atmospheres in European football.
https://www.celticfc.com

Ibrox Stadium
Home of Rangers FC, across the river in the South Side. Its iconic red brick façade and famous Copland Road Stand are landmarks in their own right.
https://www.rangers.co.uk

Both stadiums offer guided tours if you fancy a peek behind the scenes: dressing rooms, trophy halls, and that spine-tingling feeling of standing pitch side in one of football’s great theatres.

The Old Firm Derby

When Celtic and Rangers play, the world watches. The Old Firm derby is loud, emotional and utterly unique. It is not just a sporting event; it is a civic ritual that brings the whole city to a standstill.

Whether you are in a bar, a taxi or walking through George Square, you will know when it is match day. Scarves, songs and (usually) rain fill the air.

Visitors should admire it from a respectful distance. Enjoy the passion, feel the atmosphere, but maybe do not declare your allegiance out loud unless you know what you are doing.

Beyond the Old Firm

While Celtic and Rangers dominate the headlines, Glasgow also boasts other proud clubs that capture the city’s sense of community and humour.

Partick Thistle FC – based in the West End, known for its friendly fans and sense of humour. Their mascot, Kingsley, looks like a cross between a sunburst and a fever dream, and has become a cult icon in Scottish football.
https://ptfc.co.uk

Queen’s Park FC – Scotland’s oldest club, founded in 1867 and famous for the motto Ludere Causa Ludendi (“To play for the sake of playing”). They once played at the national stadium, Hampden Park, before moving to a modern ground nearby.
https://queensparkfc.co.uk

Hampden Park – The National Stadium

Hampden Park in Mount Florida is Scotland’s national stadium and the home of the Scottish national team. It has hosted everything from Champions League finals to concerts by The Rolling Stones, Beyoncé and Coldplay.
https://hampdenpark.co.uk

If you have time, visit the Scottish Football Museum inside the stadium. It tells the story of football’s origins in Scotland and features everything from historic trophies to Archie Gemmill’s famous goal against the Netherlands in 1978.
https://www.scottishfootballmuseum.org.uk

What Football Means to the City

Football in Glasgow is not just about sport. It is about pride, loyalty and belonging. It shapes friendships, families and even work conversations.

For visitors, it is a window into the city’s soul: the humour, the passion and the sense of identity that makes Glasgow what it is.

Even if you never set foot in a stadium, you will feel it everywhere. It is part of the city’s rhythm, from the headlines to the chat in the coffee shop.

So, whether you are cheering from the stands, watching in a pub, or just soaking up the atmosphere, remember in Glasgow, football is not just a pastime,  it’s a way of life.

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7. Shopping and style – from Buchanan Street to the Barras 

You can tell a lot about a city by where it shops. Glasgow is no exception.
From sleek designer stores and beautiful Victorian arcades to market stalls selling vintage jackets and banter by the bucketload, the city’s shopping scene is every bit as varied as its people.

Whether you want luxury fashion, independent boutiques, or a slice of proper Glasgow life, here is where to start.

Buchanan Street – The Style Mile

At the heart of the city centre, Buchanan Street is Glasgow’s main shopping artery and one of the prettiest in the UK. Grand architecture, polished shopfronts and buskers with serious talent make it more than just a shopping street – it’s a performance space with credit cards.

You’ll find brands like Apple, Zara, All Saints, Nike, and John Lewis, alongside the elegant Princes Square, a beautifully restored Victorian building filled with designer names, cocktail bars, and restaurants.
https://www.princessquare.co.uk

Just off Buchanan Street, The Buchanan Galleries offers more big-name stores, while the St Enoch Centre at the river end has recently been revamped with new shops and restaurants.
https://buchanangalleries.co.uk
https://st-enoch.com/

If you are short on time, a stroll down Buchanan Street gives you the full Glasgow retail experience in one go – fashion, food, music and the friendliest street performers in Britain.

The Argyll Arcade – Glasgow’s Glittering Gem

Dating back to 1827, the Argyll Arcade is one of Europe’s oldest covered shopping arcades and a must-visit if you like a bit of sparkle. It is packed with jewellers, goldsmiths and watch boutiques, including famous names like ROX and Laings.

https://argyll-arcade.com

https://www.rox.co.uk
https://www.laingsuk.com

Even if you are not shopping for diamonds, the building itself is worth a wander – all glass, ironwork and old-world charm.

The West End – Independent and Effortlessly Cool

For something less polished but more personal, head to the West End. Around Byres Road, Great Western Road and the cobbled lanes of Ashton Lane, you will find vintage shops, record stores, and quirky little boutiques. Simply jump on the underground (The Clockwork Orange) at Buchanan Street and get off at either Hillhead or Kelvinhall.

• Starry Starry Night – a Glasgow institution for vintage lovers.
• Mr Ben Retro Clothing – famous for its film-worthy second-hand fashion.
• Voltaire & Rousseau – an eccentric bookshop near Kelvinbridge where the books are stacked higher than your head.

When you are done browsing, reward yourself with coffee and cake at Kember & Jones or a pint at Oran Mór, and watch the world go by.

The Barras – Glasgow’s Original Market

No shopping guide would be complete without The Barras, the city’s iconic weekend market in the East End. It started in the 1920s as a place where locals sold goods from barrows, and it has kept that same energy ever since. Open weekends only 10am to 4pm.

You will find vintage clothes, antiques, artwork, vinyl, and plenty of characters who could easily star in their own sitcom. The chat is free, the prices are flexible, and the atmosphere is pure Glasgow.  https://barrowland.co.uk/

Next door, BAaD (Barras Art and Design) has transformed part of the old market into a creative space with bars, galleries and live music. It is where the old meets the new – perfectly Glasgow.
https://www.baadglasgow.com/

Style, Soul and a Bit of Sparkle

Glasgow’s shopping scene tells the story of the city itself – creative, confident and full of contrasts. You can go from high fashion to vintage denim in the space of ten minutes, with a side of street music and a laugh from a stranger along the way.

Whether you are splashing out on designer labels or rummaging through old records at The Barras, shopping in Glasgow is never just about what you buy – it is about the experience, the atmosphere, and the people who make it unforgettable.

 

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8. Survival tips for visitors – Weather, irn-bru and what not to say

You are coming to Glasgow in November for ISPOR which means you will experience the city in all its authentic, windswept glory. The good news is, Glaswegians have been surviving (and thriving) in this weather, with this humour, and on this diet, for centuries.Here is your friendly local guide to making the most of it.

The Weather – Bring a Jacket. Then Another.

Let’s start with the obvious. Glasgow weather can deliver four seasons in a single day. Pack layers, waterproofs, and shoes you are happy to get wet. Umbrellas are fine until the first gust of wind turns them inside out. Locals just put the hood up and get on with it.

If you get lucky and the sun appears, enjoy it immediately, it may be gone again before your coffee cools.

The Food – More Than Deep-Fried Mars Bars

The Glasgow food scene is brilliant (see Part Two for details), but if you want to try local staples, here are a few to tick off:

• A roll and square sausage – the perfect breakfast if you went out last night.
• A Morton’s roll – soft, floury and the stuff of legend.
• Chips, cheese and curry sauce – it should not work, but it absolutely does.
• Irn-Bru – Scotland’s other national drink. Bright orange, vaguely medicinal, and loved beyond reason.
• Tunnock’s Tea Cake – chocolate, marshmallow and nostalgia in one bite.

You can eat like a local without risking your arteries. Honest.

The Patter – Expect Banter

Glaswegians love a chat, and most conversations involve humour. If someone takes the mick, it usually means they like you. You do not have to try to be funny in return – just smile, roll with it, and enjoy the rhythm of the exchange.

Tip: if someone says “Aye right,” they are not agreeing with you.

 What Not to Say

A few bits of cultural advice will go a long way:

1. Avoid football chat unless you know your audience. You will have read about Celtic and Rangers in Part Six. Best to keep neutral unless you are sure who you are speaking to.
2. Do not compare Glasgow to Edinburgh. They are very different cities. Glaswegians find their charm in character, not castles.
3. Do not call it “Glas-cow.” It is “Glaz-go.”
4. Never assume the rain spoils the day. Glaswegians will find a way to enjoy themselves regardless.

Getting Around

The city centre is compact, walkable and easy to navigate thanks to its grid layout. If it is raining (again), hop on the Subway – affectionately known as The Clockwork Orange for its colour and circular route. It is the third-oldest underground system in the world, and a quick way to zip between the West End and the city centre.
https://www.spt.co.uk/subway

Taxis are plentiful, and locals use them liberally when the weather turns grim. Uber works fine too, but the black cabs come with the bonus of conversation.

The People – Warm, Funny, and Endlessly Helpful

If you look lost, someone will help. If you look fine, someone will probably still help! Glaswegians are generous with their time, their stories and occasionally their opinions.
The friendliness is genuine – lean into it, and you will feel at home quickly.

Final Word – Enjoy the Ride

Glasgow is not a city you simply visit; it is a place you feel. The people, the humour, the weather and the food all combine to create an experience that is messy, funny, proud and unforgettable.

You will leave with a few new words in your vocabulary, a slightly stronger tolerance for rain, and – if you are lucky – a story or two you could only get in Glasgow.

Thank You